The Importance of Self Endorsement transcript
Welcome to today’s insight! Stren #16 explains the multiple benefits that place self-endorsement among the most important of all the skills that we require to survive and thrive in today’s world. You will appreciate the series of sel f-endorsement techniques that follow and will eagerly add them to your collection of wisdoms.
Here is the simple explanation of why self-endorsement skills are essential for our well-being. Instinct and tradition hardwire their preferred problem-solving action pathways in the older part of our brain where emotion resides. We create common sense solutions to today’s problems applying new knowledge and wisdom using the last to mature intelligent cerebral cortex portion of our brain, what I label our “freedom organ.” Emotion usually trumps intellect, so self-endorsement is our freedom organ’s powerful means to add sufficient emotion to intelligence to override the established action pathways of instinct and tradition. Now be impressed as we consider the beneficial power of self-endorsement, the opposite of the more common habit of engaging in self-putdowns.
All of us are born helpless and totally dependent on others to survive and thrive. As may be expected, we quickly learn to seek the approval of those “others” who are the source of our well-being. Until we teach ourselves sufficient self-endorsement skills to make ourselves emotionally whole, we will continue to depend on others to sustain our well-being. And of course, if others are the source of what good we experience, whatever frustration we experience must also be attributed to to those we hold responsible for our well being. Blaming others is indicative of immaturity. Blaming is a common ingredient of self-serving dictators who remain stuck in the immature belief that someone or something other than themselves is the source of their distress and must be punished. Blaming others, which leads to harmful aggression, is our most primitive and prevalent automatic response to frustration. The greatest instances of today’s problems, both global and local, are the outcome of our innate and early-acquired blaming pattern. Blaming becomes habit through our decades of dependency through repetition. Self-endorsement is our opportunity to make a quantum leap towards self-mastery, to become our own person. Self-endorsement skills are the means by which we assume responsibility to make our life’s experience joyous and meaningful. Our skill in self-endorsement serves as a marvelous role model that benefits our loved ones. Self-endorsement is the antidote for the more common nonproductive self-putdown skills we learn.
Sadly, a common way our society teaches us to divert our anger and blaming towards others is by redirecting the harmful aggression to ourselves. This process is called “guilt.” Guilt is directing harmful aggression to our self instead of towards others; what I call “blaming in” instead of “blaming out.” Guilt is a unique human quality we learn from expert teachers. Blaming others and blaming ourselves rarely lead to lasting constructive outcomes. Blaming most commonly results in physical confrontation, resentment, stress disease, depression, apathy, and a host of other maladies.
The complex skills that require work today so that we can reap great benefits in the future require patience. Self-endorsement is the major source of the patience needed to delay gratification. We all have the experience of intellectually understanding what is best for us but nevertheless do what satisfies our immediate emotional need or want. “Short term gain, long term pain” is a hardwired behavior pattern that we overcome by the immediate emotional satisfaction we ourselves create through self-endorsement.
Observation and experience both indicate that love, giving something of value to others or our self, is one of the most satisfying of all life’s experiences. We are all born “takers.” The ability to love unconditionally is an acquired skill indicative of maturity. Loving others begins with the ability to lovingly endorse our self. It is said, “You can’t give away what you don’t own.” Genuine love doesn’t depend on the recipient’s response. Self-endorsement satisfies our need for immediate reward; it frees us from the instinctive need to “give to get.” Individuals commonly offer love and then experience frustration and anger when an expectation in that love will be adequately returned is not matched. Love is an action made complete in itself by self-endorsement. We responsibly create our own reward for the worthy act of giving. Of course we welcome love that is returned, but as a bonus, not as a requirement!
We hold forgiveness to be among the most important of all the humane qualities to which we aspire. Forgiveness is a form of love in that we are giving up our animosity towards another or our self and opening ourselves to the possibility for a loving relationship. Resentment to a perceived injustice is a powerful negative emotion that saps our energy and commonly leads to harmful aggression. “Forgive them, they know not what they do” is among the most powerful phrases ever spoken.
When we experience injustice, whether real or imagined, our immediate tendency is to strike out, to engage in some form of harmful aggression. Self-endorsement for wisely delaying our impulse to strike out is the immediate reward that allows us to delay mindless harmful action. Self-endorsement is always within our control!
Don’t overlook prevention, a critical benefit of self-endorsement. Self-endorsement is our source of patience; patience inspires us to embrace prevention. By delaying impulsive action, we mentally create original common sense problem-solving solutions, rehearse the long-term consequences before committing to action, and then choose from the wisest alternatives. Too often, our instinctive bias to obtain immediate gratification burdens us; we are required to cure the longer term damage that so often follows the actions directed by impulsive prewired action pathways. Mental freedom from instinct, tradition, and human dictators is the process of emotionally rewarding our self so we may apply universal logic and wisdom instead of mindless blind obedience to authority.
WOW! Self-endorsement strens are the antidote for blaming others, guilt, and dependency. They promote love, forgiveness, and personal responsibility. Self-endorsement is our major source of the mental strength to free ourselves from dictators, especially those who would direct our behavior for some promised reward that is at another’s expense. That’s plenty of reason to get in the habit of regularly endorsing yourself. Here’s a big bonus! When you learn to regularly and enthusiastically endorse yourself, you will love having a great traveling companion, lifelong.
Love, forgiveness, patience, blaming others and our self, and mental freedom from dictators have such importance that each will be addressed in future strens. I do hope this brief introduction has sufficiently enlightened you that you will enthusiastically proceed to learn and practice the self-endorsement strens coming up next.